I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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