His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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