I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
