I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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