Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
