So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
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