I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
