just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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