on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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