Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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