I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want to fling myself into the sun
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize