U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
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who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
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MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?