Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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