Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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