i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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