i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize