He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
