I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
