is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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