The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
