Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
please come you make the beer taste better
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
