I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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