well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
