if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize