and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Houston, we have a squirter
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
