last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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