Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?