handjob tips. give me some.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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