I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
