Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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