yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
