which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
