Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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