my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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