last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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