He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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