When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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