therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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