i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
