We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize