ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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