i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
