I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
