he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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