If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize