finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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