I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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