i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
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If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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