In the future we'll all be gay
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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