We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
