Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
