It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
