whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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