Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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