talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
