What a fucking waste of an outfit
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
