So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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