and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
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I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
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Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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