I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize